


What's Natural Comes Hard

by voleuse



Category: Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-04
Updated: 2009-11-04
Packaged: 2017-10-04 01:49:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voleuse/pseuds/voleuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>I can slay a dragon, any old week. Easy.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	What's Natural Comes Hard

**Author's Note:**

> Set after the events of the show. Title and summary adapted from Steven Sondheim's "Anyone Can Whistle."

Penny opened her eyes. Bad Horse whinnied over her, and she realized she'd been dead.

It had been a while since she'd been dead. She stretched, groaned. It took a lot out of her, sometimes. She sat up and spat shards of plastic from her mouth. She turned her chin, faced Bad Horse without looking him in the eye. "I'm not going to say thank you," she told him.

When she hopped out the window, he didn't even neigh.

*

 

It always took her a few weeks to get used to her skin again, so she dipped into old county records in search of a new social security number and a new identity. She'd never been one for masks, and she'd given up the League long before she took up naiveté.

Sugar Skull found her at a Panera Bread in Culver City. "Please tell me you're not going for the nerdy, bookish type again." She slid into the chair opposite Penny and tapped the top of her laptop.

"I _am_ the nerdy, bookish type." Penny rolled her eyes. "How'd you find me?"

"Fake Tommy gave me your number, and one of the henches tracked your GPS." Sugar Skull sipped her tea. "What're you surfing?"

"County records." Penny angled her laptop so Sugar Skull could see the display. "I hacked into their database. I need a new birthdate."

"What you need," Sugar Skull said, "is a new base of operations. This is too close to your old life, and you are D-E-A-way publically-D. Like, Oprah-mentioning-you-dead."

"I need to finish regenerating before I move." Penny closed her laptop. "Maybe I could dye my hair?"

Sugar Skull shrugged, eyeing Penny's torso. "A big wig would be better. And a new costume."

"I've been done with costumes for half a century," Penny replied.

"Think of it as advanced shopping," Sugar Skull said. At Penny's scowl, she snickered. "Fine. Whatever. Let's go _do_ something, okay?"

"Drink your tea," Penny said. "I need to finish my blondie."

*

 

As much as Penny didn't care about the league, their headquarters was a good haven for the recently-resurrected. When she wasn't out re-establishing herself, she was bedded down in a suite, letting her internal organs rejuvenate.

Sugar Skull and Bad Horse were the only ones who ever interrupted her peace, so when she woke to the sound of a door opening without a following clip-clop, she burrowed further under her authentically authentic quilts and groaned. "Skulls, do you have any idea how long it takes to grow a spleen?"

"The new guy's flying back today," Sugar Skull announced in response. She jumped onto the bed with a thump, then tossed the quilts back, letting annoying daylight in. "He just built a new, like, cavern in Antarctica or something."

"New guy?" Penny twisted on her side. "We," she paused, "_you_ haven't had a new member in years."

"He's pretty cool," Sugar Skull said. "Overcompensating, of course, but he's got some good ideas." She laid back, rolled to face Penny. "But if he asks you to help him test the transmatter beam, say no."

"Transmatter beam, no." Penny grinned. "Got it."

Sugar Skull nodded, her cheek smushed against the pillow. "There was a weird goopy incident. Fake Tommy is very unhappy." She made a very dignified Fake Thomas Jefferson face and held it for a good minute.

Penny snuggled further down the bed, searching for the quilts again. "I'd hate to be goopy."

"Yeah," Sugar Skull said, "and it would suck if he killed you _again_."

Penny froze. "What?"

"Oh, yeah, Dr. Horrible's the new guy." Sugar Skull reached down, pulled the quilts over both their heads. "BH hasn't told him about you being, you know, _you_ yet." She giggled. "Think he'll freak?"

"Maybe," Penny said. "Probably."

"Awesome," Sugar Skull said, and Penny closed her eyes to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, in my brain Sugar Skull is played by [**Sara Ramirez**](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0708381/).


End file.
